Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
