I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
