No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
