I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize