i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
