Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
