Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Damn victory sex feels great
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
