That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
