My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
