thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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