He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
