Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
