Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this is an emotional support booty call
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
