yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
