I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
