It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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