Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
worst night to have a conscience
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
