This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
