i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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