I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
