I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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