so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize