And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hippo gnu deer
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm bleeding and have questions
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
