I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
