I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
