He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize