the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
