Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize