I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
