He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
