As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
