Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
only you would photoshop your dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
