dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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