I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
