We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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