Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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