I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
