I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My ass is underappreciated
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
