trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
