I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
