Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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