I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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