Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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