My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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