just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
