I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
