YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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