I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize