the condom got lost in my hair
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
