just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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