omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize