I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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