i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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