hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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