please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
