life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
