a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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