Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
