Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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