And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
