Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
