Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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