a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
another moral hangover. fuck.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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