Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
