I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
