i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
