I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
